I present the worst car commercial ever

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland) 01/31/2020 at 23:20 • Filed to: I threw up a little in my mouth

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Audi Etron.

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gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/31/2020 at 23:25

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how does she see over the steering wheel?

I’ve harped on this before, but I really can’t comprehend how 1/3 of drivers ( and 1/2 of women) see over the dash n SUVs .

WilliamsSW > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/31/2020 at 23:30

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/thread

WilliamsSW > WilliamsSW 01/31/2020 at 23:30

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fintail > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/31/2020 at 23:33

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Thank heavens my computer has a mute button. This spot makes me want to start the fintail and let it idle for a few hours just for kicks.

This is exactly the vehicle and driver I expect to have a close call with when I am walking in a green signaled crosswalk.  99.99999% chance there was no signal used in that lane change scene.

DipodomysDeserti > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/31/2020 at 23:40

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I can say with full sincerity, that my grandparents biggest failing, was not exterminating the German race.

This has nothing to do with me having to resurrect my wife’s seven year-old BMW in the middle of traffic today.

It has everything to do with Germans having bullshit cuisine, and selling their cheap ass plastic wares as luxury items. Also, the whole Nazi thing.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/31/2020 at 23:43

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Pretty sure that first car was a Toyota Crown

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/31/2020 at 23:47

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No wait — now I’m worried it’s some Plymouth/Dodge from the early 70s...

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/31/2020 at 23:54

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Kind of reminds me of the front of a ~72 Charger modified to hide identity, then the camera quickly moves to the profile of a ~70 Charger.

Early Crowns were actually sold here for a brief flash in time around 1971.  If I found one locally, I would buy it.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 01/31/2020 at 23:54

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Meanwhile my close to 60 year old MB keeps cruising on.  

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > DipodomysDeserti 01/31/2020 at 23:55

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tell us how you really feel

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/31/2020 at 23:56

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That's uum shit

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/01/2020 at 00:08

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Yes, the plethora of sixty year-old MBs cruising around our motorways are a testament to that good old Nazi engineering...

My brother owned a handful of ‘80s 300d’s and every single one of them has disintegrating cooling and fueling systems. I guess they’re only built for wet environments.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 00:11

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Probably better than BMWs from the cooling system/fuel pump failure era ;)

I’m more worried about the wanna- Nazis ingratiating themselves with the current political regime than a bunch of dead guys, but that’s just me. If one wants to drive a car from a location with a history free from murderous horror , well, better get used to walking.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/01/2020 at 00:18

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Not sure if you work on work on your own cars or not, but based on my hands on experience, they’re about the same.

We have wannabe Nazis today because the institutions and corporations that supported them were given a pass, even by the most liberal of today’s society.

WilliamsSW > fintail 02/01/2020 at 00:20

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It’s a 68 or 70 Charger, likely a 68, disguised a bit.

WilliamsSW > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 00:21

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HEY!! I like some of their sausage. Although you think eating that shit all the time would have taken care of your extermination request.

Also, 7 years old?  Fuuuuuuuck that. Sorry.

DipodomysDeserti > WilliamsSW 02/01/2020 at 00:23

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Italian sausage is superior (fascist light).

Yeah...third radiator in three years. Thankfully the other two were covered by BMW.

WilliamsSW > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 00:31

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No argument on Italian sausage.

I like variety though, and Germany has approximately 3 kazillion varieties.

Had a DAMN good char-broiled Polish sausage the other day.  Can still taste it now...

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > fintail 02/01/2020 at 00:47

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I might have to fire up the Datsun tomorrow and put some unburnt hydrocarbons into the atmosphere. Even if I can’t drive it around.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 00:49

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My axis car is pretty damn reliable for a 50 year old car.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > WilliamsSW 02/01/2020 at 00:50

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Yes those were terrible but they weren’t singing frozen songs.

fintail > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/01/2020 at 00:55

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It may be a little jerky, but I like to joke that every time I drive the old car, I cancel out every Tesla and Prius in town. When your car predates even the most primitive smog pump by several years, you know it.

I saw an early Z today, in that red-orange that was very popular. It was on slotted mags (of course), looked nice, but on a flatbed truck.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 01:02

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I see a lot more older MBs on the road than similar vintage BMWs. Either MBs sold a lot more, attracted more responsible owners, or were simply easier to maintain and more durable. Of course, this is just anecdotal, but in my low rust locale, I see 123s, 124s, and 126s all the time. Not so much E28s and E23s, and when I see an E30, it is often thrashed within an inch of its life.  Most MBs since 2010 or so aren’t known to be terrible to live with.  

Unfotunately, the wanna-Nazis working their way up today exist because of more than corporations and institutions - they exist because many people agree with them.  1945 didn’t kill em off, and 2016 just emboldened them.  Not that we’ve had much of a liberal society in this country anyway.  

Your boy, BJR > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 01:40

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Because Italians are truly the pinnacle of humanity 

facw > fintail 02/01/2020 at 04:40

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Smogwise it’s probably not that much of an exaggeration, old car emissions are waaay worse than modern vehicles. You probably aren’t much worse from a global warming perspective though, since that will be tied to fuel economy, so you’d only be a couple times worse instead hundreds or thousands of times worse.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 05:16

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Errm... wasn't that BMW assembled in the USA and not always with German made components?

DipodomysDeserti > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/01/2020 at 08:17

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The Japanese actually know how to build stuff. I own two fifty year old Japanese bikes and a twenty year old truck. They’re all screwed together better than my seven year old BMW.

DipodomysDeserti > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 02/01/2020 at 08:21

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No, it’s a first gen X1. Built on basically the same platform at the 3 series wagon in Germany. Looks like they used the cheapest shit they could find as far as components go which may or may not be German. The clutch that came apart in my Jeep was German, so you never know.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/01/2020 at 10:09

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Why has she used the hashtag "BroomBroom," much less in an Audi commercial. She couldn't care less that that is just a mutilated Mazda slogan.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/01/2020 at 10:51

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I hit pause as soon as she started singing. I knew it would just be downhill from there.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 12:38

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Nice edit, who knows how those 30+ year old cars were maintained before your brother got to them. Maybe they don’t fare well being neglected in McCainsian desert hell - oh wait, old MBs are the vehicle of choice in much of Africa, too. Could just be a clueless American (not necessarily your bro, but the 8 who owned the cars before him) issue.

Wifey just had to have a vanity vehicle from the era of a maker not known for perfect reliability, and hubby went along with it . Should have put her in a painfully bland but reliable Highlander and told her to live with it :) Don’t post while drinking, it looks funny.

fintail > facw 02/01/2020 at 12:40

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I don’t drive a high mileage, and neither of my cars are particularly thirsty (fintail hits 20 on the highway with ease, not bad for something of its era), no guilt here either.  When one examines the pollution from ocean-going cargo alone, I’m not even a minuscule portion of a drop in an literal ocean.

facw > fintail 02/01/2020 at 12:46

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Well no one person is, but cars do add up (though you’re right that largely unregulated pollution by freighters is a problem).

fintail > facw 02/01/2020 at 13:27

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Fortunately for the air, there are virtually no pre-emissions cars in regular service these days.   IMO if society is really concerned with cars, it needs to discourage long distance commuting to sprawling trashy mcmansion orchards.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/01/2020 at 17:54

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Wow, busting out the sexism, very nice!

Not sure how much country club cred my wife gets cruising around in a used, orange BMW. Most people probably think its a Subaru.

Your sexist assumptions about my marriage aside, my wife has several businesses on top of being a teacher, and buys her own cars.

Let me know when you figure out how to maintain plastic, it’ll save me lots of time.

“McCainsian desert hell”

Don’t post when you’re high, it makes you sound like a sexist moron.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 18:10

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Dopey soft-roaders, premium brands especially, appeal to certain demographics more than others. I live in Stepfordland, and they are like every other vehicle, usually with a very similar driver. Nothing sexist about it. Not all vehicles appeal to all people.

She’s smart, next time have her read up a bit and choose less a troublesome car . I suspect most here know BMWs of that era have a couple specific Achilles heels, cooling systems being one of them - this isn’t secret data. I don’t need to know how to maintain plastic - I simply avoid making the purchase in the first place.

If I want to see moronic, I will just look at a post made at 11:40pm yesterday Kinja time :)

glemon > fintail 02/01/2020 at 18:50

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We had a Toyota Crown wagon when I was a kid. It was a surprisingly awful car, very unreliable, but in hindsight I think it may have wrecked and poorly repaired.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/01/2020 at 19:03

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Assuming someone is a certain way because they’re a woman is very much sexist, regardless of what shitty neighborhood you live in. Doubling down and assuming she was ignorant as to what she was buying is also sexist. She knew what she was getting into, which is why she got a CPO (the old 100k mile deal). She also married someone who can fix shit himself [swings dick]

I would avoid assuming anything about my wife.

Achilles heel of this engine is the timing chain (knock on wood), not the cooling system. Somehow she keeps eating OEM radiators, two under warranty. Rest of the cooling system has been too notch.  Biggest issue I’ve had with plastic is the fuel pump dissolving, which is not something that should ever happen on a car. That’s just using shit plastic.

We actually used to use her car as our camping car. Once took it on a 5k miles roadtrip all over the western US. It’s probably seen more dirt than a lot of Jeeps.

She’s pushing 130k miles, so probably double of what most see. I’m dropping my spare 350 in it when the time finally comes. My daughters will help me, which will probably blow your mind.

fintail > glemon 02/01/2020 at 19:11

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That would be super rare today, would love to find one, either the first series sold here, or the ones with the wacky front end like in Zoidberg’s pic (also exists as a sedan and wagon).

A wreck likely didn’t help it age.  I also recall interior materials in period Japanese cars weren’t awesome, especially dash plastics.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 19:17

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rust out or hairline crack? Any parts vibrating up against it ?  

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/01/2020 at 19:19

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My anecdotal experience has probably 80% of X1/X3/X5 driven by non-males who aren’t particularly into cars, apart from liking to have something fancy with a somewhat tall seating position. There are definitely exceptions to this, but in my opinion, it’s something of a rule, and it exists outside of my shitty neighborhood with its seven figure average house price and the entitlement issues that come with similar vehicles , too. Sorry if it offends, but I will assume what I like. The worst that can happen is it makes an ass out of you and me.

Shitting radiators is a cooling system issue. None of the 8 MBs I have owned have had anything close to similar issue (nor timing chain issues). Of course, there are some MBs you couldn’t give me for free, and some BMWs you couldn’t give me for free - the cooling system/fuel pump/nikasil/V8 smoker etc BMWs certainly don’t tempt me. If the issues are known, and the car develops similar issues, I can’t see a reason to complain. If she really did know, and the problems then came up, well, that’s too bad.

I’ll await details of that 350 swap, sounds fun. Hopefully the wiring will age well in the meantime, something else I might fear on those cars for some reason.

WilliamsSW > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/01/2020 at 20:48

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Ok I don’t know frozen but t hat’s horrible.

glemon > fintail 02/01/2020 at 21:35

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Ours was third generation, I don’t recall seeing too many of them around, I don't recall the next generation, with the funky front end, at all.  Wiki says they were sold in very small numbers here, before Toyota gave up in the Crown and continued with their "hit Detroit where they ain't" strategy and focused on smaller cars.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/02/2020 at 00:03

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Bro, relax, the German automotive industry doesn’t need you to go to bat for them. My shitty experiences with German made things doesn’t diminish your self worth just because you own a product made by a German company.

Next time I’m in Seattle we should grab a cup of coffee. You can talk about German engineered automobiles with my wife.

DipodomysDeserti > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 02/02/2020 at 00:06

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I live in Phoenix, so no rust. No idea what’s causing it. The fuel pump dissolved a couple years ago so my money is on Germans not knowing how to make plastic.

fintail > glemon 02/02/2020 at 12:52

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I maybe have seen one in person in my life of that generation, and none of the next generation . A handful seem to have been sold in the west coast US states and BC, I’ve never seen one outside those areas.    Would be something to find today.  I guess the Cressida eventually replaced it in the lineup (I like the baroque round light first gen Cressida, too). 

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/02/2020 at 12:56

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Hey bud, I’m not the one who had a debatably sober nazi-summoning rant/tantrum because wifey’s miled up rapidly aging vehicle of a generation not known for absolute reliability decided to puke up a part it is known to puke up :)  No self worth issues here, my cars have been fine, as I know the ones to choose, and I will freely admit there are numerous models I wouldn’t take if you gave me one for free. No maker has a perfect track record.

Sounds like a plan. Maybe I’ll drive the old German car I’ve kept on the road since Clinton’s first term. I’ll probably tell your wife to seek out a nice 4Runner or Landcruiser if she wants that oh so secure ride height along with reliability (and less of a bland experience than a Highlander or Sequoia).

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/02/2020 at 13:25

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You got riled up about a late night drunken quip about German automobiles, and started making assumptions about female drivers. All because you like the brand of car you own.

Ya need to chill.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/02/2020 at 13:48

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On the car choice front, I don’t tell my wife to do anything. What’s your deal with women?

Her X1 is built on the same platform as the E91. Not sure what your obsession is with thinking my wife like high vehicles. 

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/02/2020 at 18:37

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I’m not the one who’s riled, friend . You’re the one giving me two posts now simply because I am on board with the idea that makers target vehicles to specific demog raphics, and maybe 80% of the time, the market reacts as intended, and said demographics flock to specific vehicles. My deal with women? Nice red herring trying to turn it back on me, but it won’t work.

Riled would be getting drunk like a petulant kidult   and then posting some whine about a miled up aging German car being troublesome. Geez, that never happens to those cars . You know, Lexus makes a number of reliable soft-roaders with similar cachet.

If the X1 and an E91 are so similar, why not choose an E91? Maybe because of the height? E91 will have the same troubles too, as it is a BMW of that less than awesome era, as everyone knows, and those who like the cars deal with it. Funny thing, I have no doubt your wife is as smart as you claim, knows her car can be a high maintenance pig now and then , and is OK with it as she likes the car. Maybe channel that contentment.  Perhaps she should tell you to do something, she’s probably the only force keeping clip on plastic angry eyes away from the Jeep.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/02/2020 at 19:27

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That’s a whole lotta words I’m not going to bother reading. You definitely seem not riled up about Germans not knowing how to make durable vehicles. I’ll apologize on your behalf for the sexist stereotypes of women that you seem to hold dear.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/02/2020 at 21:25

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Calm today eh, maybe drunk again. Take it easy on that, k? We want you around for the long haul.

I see plenty of old MBs on the road here, 30+ year old cars on virtually a daily basis. BMWs, not so many - might be a lesson in there somewhere. But they both know how to make fancy highish ride height vehicles aimed at a specific market demographic who isn’t offended when carmakers pander to it, maybe others should practice not being offended.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/02/2020 at 22:02

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I can see my comments really upset you, and I apologize to both you, and Mercedes-Benz for not following Oppo’s community guidelines of being excellent. Corporations are people, and they also deserve our respect here.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/02/2020 at 23:37

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I see adult beverage corporations are making good profits these days :)

This is fun, not conflict.  The internet doesn’t upset me.  Don’t take it seriously. I hope the E91 tall variant remains free from problems for the rest of your tenure with it.

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/03/2020 at 09:32

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I will light a candle to St. Karl in your honor, good sir, and will encourage you to keep on  not getting upset by the internet.

fintail > DipodomysDeserti 02/03/2020 at 12:12

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Thanks! I’ll say a prayer to my St. Boozehoundious medal that things go well enough for you that you don’t get sloshed and whine online when a vehicle occasionally known to be troublesome becomes troublesome, and then grasp my Patron Saint of the Obvious cross and hope that mentioning that a vehicle intended to be embraced by a specific demographic is actually embraced by that demographic doesn’t create offense.   We’ll get through this!

DipodomysDeserti > fintail 02/03/2020 at 14:08

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Prost!